Hello All!

I know i know it's been such a long time, i'm a forgetful person. I've been trying to get some things in my life straight. I got a fiance. I quit my job due to my manager being sexist :/ (wack yo). my cousin died. that was big i guess. I'm back in school WOOO! See just as much as I've been away :D good things have happened. I've been so stressed out T___T I MADE KOREAN FRIENDS :D went to more weddings. Bouquets at the tip of my fingers. I felt silly for even standing up there. Yes WEDDINGS. of course after I got the bf ._. I got a lot to update on. I feel more woman now. I think my heart exists. Don't think we won't be hearing from me

Well let me get right to the point. I apologize for such a long absence and it's funny that there has to be a serious storm brewing for me to post xD HURRICANE SANDY :P Today I felt my most motivated after all this bull. I'm finally standing up and on my feet again. I'm working out and watching the weather channel. I have been away since 3:50pm yesterday o_o I am not tired^^

I'm going to study and take better care of myself! Once and for all


OWW CARPAL TUNNEL DX

I hear the winds a brewin >.O
Time for me to finish working out and crud ;n; that's the problem with stuff it's boring or too easy at times. T____T


-Ren Montez <3

Did you Feel that?

Haven't seen him in a minute yet he's been on my mind here and there. Good to see him, good to be around him, accidentally mistaken him for a womanizer.

I guess the reason why I first fell for him was because he was so simple and I was so complicated.

Saw the face of a person who once accused me and I was quick to show him the light, It doesn't hurt and I can laugh about it, haha because he's such a loser.


-Ren Montez <3

Special Poetry Insert

Godly
by Chris Kim

I could feel the light in him
As he passed me by
This man was some miraculous
Nothing as I had ever encountered before
My days were gloomed
Yet he cleared it up better than any glass cleaner
Gave me the motivation
The Inspiration
When I needed it the most
Selfishly I wanted to just keep his time
Yet I knew he was a busy man
On a mission
With a title unknown to me

Crap

Some people just have those spirits always trying to bring you down.

Mum, Sibling, Father, Aunt, Cousin, Teacher, Stranger, Enemy or so called friend aka Frienemy.


When those moments occur just try to distance yourself from it.

Today I felt a lot of that bullshit.
I don't like to say bullcrap because it makes me think about crabs, Trey Songs used to have that . (see that's why I don't like to say it)



I did a 20 minute workout and I automatically felt better, someone said something rude to me on my way to do it, I didn't like that and sure I felt a little ugh you know what cuss cuss.

But I didn't go that far, I just ran as fast as I could (you know I don't run, I only skip, hop, jump and speed walk) so I could go workout and make myself feel better.

My knee clicked half way through the workout because I was still angry at the time, yet I pushed through the pain instead of giving up, I'm so glad I did too.

I wouldn't feel as happy as I do now, I'm kinda hungry as well at the moment yet that's only natural after burning off so many calories.

Came up with some new script ideas, I won't release the titles of those works until I'm at least half way done with them (Only God knows and only time shall tell)

In the latest I've been feeling a little more than your average shade a blue.

Another typical thing amongst our youth and females. (yes for once I will admit to being a woman) There's therapy, medication, weapons and death yet I choose to use none of them.

No need to poison myself, how can another crazy person tell me I'm crazy when they started it?

Sometimes in life they over exaggerate things.
Such a shame.

I'm going to do 3 more workouts then call it a day


Hey, nobody said it was a short road to recovery

-Ren Montez <3


Edit: Nevermind I'll have to finish those workouts when I get back, someone wants me to go out with them, so I'll unpin my hair to look some what suitable.

sigh Just one of those

Today seemed really cruddy :/

Started with two nightmares, one of a person I had no interest in and had no interest in me but i messed with them anyway. The were all over me for once, freaked me out cuz in reality that's all i never WANTED or needed....

the next was an ex what the horror -shivers in fear-

guess my fears are different, i prefer the right guy at the right time (almost said tight time)

People have been really iffy lately, all making me want to raise my eyebrow like this o_Ô (international keyboard ftw)

THANK GOODNESS someone dropped something waking me up out of those awful nightmares, i ended up in the bathroom sick though...

i don't like when the past crosses my mind
today i'm finally going to workout

Today really had that crappy vibe , it was agreed upon with my friend, yep crap day o_o

On another note where the heck is Rae?
Where on earth is Rachel Cohnagan rachel cohanagan >.> missed spelled your names lol
(on purpose!)


-Ren Montez <3

Today was a good day :D

Today was partily cloudy with a bit of rain (has already started this out with a lie) lol

Ok xD so it rained heck of hard, drove mi papá al doctor. There I practiced in the parking lot, by myself (because I'm a big girl ;D ) K-turn, parking in a parking lot >_>
so many violators D: they do it just because they think nobody's watching.
One of them tried to hit me ¬¬

I was nervous about the road test, i kept effing up while backing up lol.
I'm pretty darn sure I scared everyone in the car xD
But the main problem is I needed to adjust my sheet back -_- but I was afraid because that dude was behind me, he was kinda cute , if I broke his nose he would of been cute >.>

He only spoke Spanish though (puff face)

Glad to have my old instructor back :D

Made a new friend she's nice.

I got rained on so hard D<
to the point my hair got messed up >.> from straight to whooshy D:

Finally get in the car
hell nervous
already doing bad things ;~; too hard with my seat, mirror , belt adjustments lol.

I thought I had fail o_o (always thinking negative)
I PASSED YO XD

I wanted to go dancing in the rain <3

Dude was working on a ponytail he had a long braid, oh m r when that boy's hair grows out o_o ¡aym! lol
Yeah ho yeah, it was just the hair >_> his hair texture was just like mine, he had the fluffy soft lol. I can see we both need moisture in our lives o:
I want that soft silk T_________T


I was working off of gatorade and water all día o.o
not a good diet XP

-Ren Montez <3

I had a dream

._____.
okgetngiotgeoj

I had a dream about Marco.. I know i know I know, what am I doing thinking about him.
DONT WORRY IT WAS STRICTLY FRIENDLY
trust meh

BHJBHEL belhs Dx
(just licked some ice cream soup that's been sitting for more than 10 minutes)

So I'm at a house or something
few other amigos are there
and I was just wondering if I should start dropping by in this area again.
So I saw next to Marco on this very very lavish sofa (i'm not exacertating)
I'm not just sitting next to him, i'm sitting close, REAL close, to the point s, I might as well be joint to him by the darn hip.

He looks at me awkwardly putting down his controller (yep, he was all on dat derr xboxi)
I rest my head on his shoulder then tilt upwards him in a bit of a sigh. "Marco do you miss me?"
"Oh course I miss you." he turns a bit and hugs me (that man, still gives amazing hugs, I felt this one in my dreams too, that's the type of stuff to put a smile on my face ^^; -entering kekeke mode- ) "Oh good, I wanted to know" I hug hug back. Then .. "You know I own a club, then there's one where I go to work at" the dream ends briefly after this..

Marco has a girlfriend and in my dream I wasn't even thinking dirty, I just always wanted to work on building a friendship with Marco but never really bothered to hop on that, I think maybe the next time I see him idkwthti that I will try to ask him a little something somethin


- Ren Montez <3

For a Loss

I dealt with it, covered it and I'm ok with it.

Just waiting to call things off

De Nuevo: A trip to an old place

In the CL with a few people I knew

 ^^^(How Gei, anything that gives me that erm ugh hhh blehhh >_< meh feeling lol ) I don't like this picture, it's not flattering but I've been very harass on things involving me,anyway thanks Tom (Thomas) for taking it.

Today I dropped by my old stopping grounds
Checking in was a fail my phone glitched hardcore on me

I was sad facing about it -3-

No Jelani, No Tevin , No Mitch and No Glenn
-sigh-
but there was a dude I thought  was Glenn lol

First enterance was the library sighing and trying next stop was a wrap around to the den

which was empty.. so to the ARTS! building
West Min (Minsiter)

Saw Zumi she was working on a project it looked good so far, then I went back to the den
Finally some peoples yah!

Spent a lot of time roaming around with Michael

Highlight: Polo
Loved his hair , felt like a kid in a candy store *-*
IT WAS SPIKY D;
then it was alll zig zaggy and
IT WAS JUST TOTAL BADASS D<
He looked like one of them thai warriors or something xD

Played Sonic II <3
Freakin Casion level pissed me off
I played pool twice lost the first time
then one the second time

then again I played another time >_>

Nut he doesn't like me so I forgot cuz I was too busy laughing about the reason why he don't like me xD

I reestablished some connections :] networking yo
Felt good doing that now all I gotta do is get my work done

Didn't see Adam again ): It was weird in away since he said he would be back in west min but when i went back i didn't see him o-O

I tried going again but still didn't T-T

Saw Tink (Tinkerbell lol) Nails and Shatiek(ei)

Nails's new skateboard is so awesome it has a Raq on it with the words Hubba underneath, then on the under belly there's a rainbow swirling unicorn

Shateik gave me a magnetic clip :3 he won in the daily game of thursday.
We laughed about smokes Devion (he's a director who is quite amazing, if you need something done he will get it done for you) and weed but there was no weed lol

Me: Are you smoking without me?
Nails: Yes, I am, this is the best weed in your life that you will neva get.
Funny because in the end he said these cigarettes sucked and I pretty much thought they did
They looked flimsy.

Back to Devion when they told me he can get anything done for me I thought uhhh.... o_O ¿Asesino? we laughed some more

Devion - But it depends on how much I like you.

Then I thought to myself >_> well I'm a likeable person so that should be easy, later we just discussed how My Alias/Nickname was better than my birthname c:

After that I went back to the den

which was pool table being hogged by pairs pool somewhat had a partner than i just said CUSS it  -_-

ended upstairs which was Sims 3 and Super streeet fighter 4 lost my turn at that -3-
Almost whipped on Javi but I held back , gonna act like he don't know me and such psh
Lingstu reintroduced me xD
then they kvetched about me not being around o.o

Anthony was the first person I saw was good to talk to him

Asked Lingtsu about José :c he hasn't seen him around
before that he said he saw my profile lol
I asked him what was he doing on there
he said he was just browsing around

Funny him & anthony xD
I noticed Anthony's last name is the same as my son's first name

I miss that boy ):
The rain kinda ruined my plans
I felt insecure since my boobs got bigger
and they were gonna be like really out there lol


Saw Miguel he was shooting though, wanted to wait to say hello so I just watched him play
He ended up greeting me first while angling his shot and right after that he missed o-o
That's why I wanted to wait


I almost sat on Nick's lap x_x (would of been being bad)
Breaking out of old habits is hard lol
First things I thought when he said sit on my lap: 1. He might have a boner 2. He or I might enjoy that 3. NO NO NO STOP! BAD REN!
Yet to be honest, I was thinking about sitting on his lap or under him when He was there (before he asked me) simply because it's comfortable lol kekeke  (creature of habit) but then decided it would be inappropriate and not so friendly

can't wait to go to the mall next week <3

Went for a china run (china town aka chinese food)
Went to two different places they both didn't have what I want
S o I went to C Town instead singing Along with Royce

Corazon sin cara Heart without face but they translate it as a heart doesn't have a face

Which reminds me I needto get back to Pathmark, Bolthouse Farms was 5/10
I don't need that but protien is good for me!
That's probably how my boobs got biggeer lmao
Best protein I ever had <3

The plantanos were 4/2 I got 2/1 instead.
As well as Ginseng Ups, which are drinks with Ginseng they taste so good
Ginseng Up Iced Peach tea is my favorite one of the 9-12 flavors I believe.

they went up 10c were 89c before. In all the chinese food was pricey and didn't taste the same (that's what they said)
that's why I didn't want any instead I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and an omelet (haven't had an omelet in years, YEM)

They might even been the reason why my boobs got biggers (i like that typo, I'll keep it ;D ) lol
What the freak with my body temperature
as soon as I got back I felt so weird

My leg is cold now T.T

and it's just the left front calf lol
my other parts are freaking hot, I might have caught a little cold today from the rain -3-
BUMMA

I was thinking about Wendy's all day it was good to sse Louis
There are new chicken sandwiches at Wendy's , I must try them XD

Then I found out they went and I was all AWW MAN -___- you didn't get me anything? lol
Burger king sucks compared to Wendy's lol.

Talked a lot about cars racism stupid people sexism film music pool life games and work today.
That wasn;t just with a few people, it was with just about everyone which was crazy.

I hope to go to Wendy's for that sandwich tomorrow T-T
(being a fatty fatty 2x4)

My stomach is so flat D: but i have a big butt and hopefully (soon!,¡pronto!) big boobs to match xD lol
For some reason I always wanted a body like that T,T Or small butt (no booty) big boobs no stomach >_>
just how i think at times lol, like i like certain things about mans xD

Today was a very good day besides the headaches x_x

Went home happy

The picture ^^^(all the way up there) I didn't feel in the mood for picture taking with people lol but hey I made it work yo ;D

Friendship

Ugh, no matter what you do, it's like a romantic relationship but sometimes you don't mind going back to it, I'm so tired :/ I shouldn't bother anyone anymore, if I'm hurt, I'll just let our relationship fade away naturally ):

I've been hurt with guys in a romantic way and I've been hurt in a non romantic way by guys and gals, I don't have to deal with this anymore, I have too much going on in my life to try to keep doing this, pain is not good for me, it takes a drain in more ways than one, adieu.

I don't like talking on the internet! \(TOT)/

I was feeling really heated then i went to check my messages from a long time and I felt like he totally overlooked me, even though he might have not meant to do so T_T
It hurt me deeply

HOW COULD YOU MAN AHHHHHH -crying like a little preschooler-


;~; oh well, I should let it be as it is distant  (needs to stop misreading things)
but that's the reason why I prefer talking on the phone or in person D:

T,T -wipes eyes-


Bad enough I read the rest of that crappy good book ;_;

Imma go be immature now Dx

Long Time No Talk: Keep In Touch Mi Amigo Countinued

I did get a reply so yah!
tease my friend a little bit XP
I want to get some new books, Spanish Japanese and Korean D:

True blood was wow, so tragic, glad that Debbie is FINALLY DEAD
GOO SOOK FOR GROWING SOME BALLS GIRL!

Speaking of which I need to see if Mister Mata has said anything back to me >_<


R.I.P. Jesus :'(
My Favorite (G)LBT couple T____T

He gave all his power and Marty killed him ):
IF only she could die second time ¬¬
lol

He loved Lafeyette so much T^T
That made me so sad

prettyfetish ♔ Ren D Ribbons

#Trueblood Quote of the Season. "Baby, You're a Median and I'm dead, I'll always be with you..." - Jesus

kinda like sad that Tara is dead :/ she was finallly acting ok again and she gets killed off.

Hey Rene ;D I was so happy to see his smexy self back on the screen lol

He warned what's her face, about Terry's crazy arse, I knew he was crazy as soon as he saw his old mate, he started looking scary ;_;

I give a big applaud to the cast and crew of this season you guys did an amazing job o-o

Eric boo, I feel your pain, she just shot you down like that lol, Had you hecka happy then I can't be with neither of yall

I hope she hooks up with L.C. I've been wanting to see that since last season <3

 My Favorite Cast Memebers of True Blood:

Kevin Alejandro as Jesus Velasquez
J.D. Mata as Tio Luca
Nathan Ellis as Lafayette Reynolds
Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse
Lois Smith as Adele Stackhouse (Grams)
Alexander Skarsgard as Eric Northman ( awww)
Paola Turbay as Antonia ( felt sorry for her)
Ryan Kwaten as Jason Stackhouse
Joe Manganiello as Alcide Herveaux
Jim Parrack as Hoyt Fortenberry (bitchy though)
Carrie Preston as Arlene Fowler ( I finally liked her for once lol)
Deborah Ann Woll as Jessica Hamby ( You were bad but loved it lol)
Lauren Bowles as Holly Cleary  (Fabulous)
Dan Buran Marcus Bozeman (hey, i thought he was sexy yet bleh)
Chris Bauer as Andy Bellefleur (You Go Chris, you're looking better)


P.s. that sick pastor or whatever is back as a vamp! wth Dx he should of commited suicide lol  , jessica save jason ):

Long Time No Talk : Keep in Touch mi amigo

Wow, it's crazy how things changed, how time passed us by seems like facebook is the only way to keep in touch with my with my friends nowadays. It felt good to hear from Ramón I really missed him. I just hope to hear back from Adam,and all my other old running gang, my heart raced a bit but we're all good, nothing I can do and I'm happy for them, happy for them all. I just want them to be well.


Hoping that one day, I can be just as well as them or at least something close to it.

I believe last week, I made a new facebook to seperate the real from the fake, Out of 600 people only 80 were real to mean, that's less than 20% in case you haven't noticed, I hope to get back into storage to get my old college books as well, keeping in touch is so important.


I missed you, often when I say it, it's from the bottom of my heart. I say this to my friends, those of which I care deeply for, just sitting here now, with my friends Arooj and Kaushal.

Thinking of that time of the past back then.

All I can really say is wow. Vince and all the others, pain and hardships Texans, (i have to go wee, really bad and true blood is about to come on lol) ...

to be continued shortly after true blood ^^;....

My only edit to this is, that I couldn't log in quickly enough to post lol, so I ended up waiting WAYYYY after true blood yet, I still have another post to make :P

Coughing

For the past few days my friends have been able to keep me in good humor
As well as tears  and deep thought (deep serious conversation, you know like those adults like to do)


Sometimes I'm truly astonished by somethings.

My dreams are loco man. Friend turning into a wolf, I knew he was bad but not like that. His eyes going this way and that. Why are we at another dance? Why am I so caring? Buying him a Mango Carrot drink hah, I'm allergic. I'm somehow developing nectar for a person I would never be interested in.

Yet isn't that how it always starts?

Life

Well my life has been quite crazy
Yep, in the heck, I don't even know when was the last time I posted here
(Pretty sure it was marchish or last year...)
I've been through a couple of boyfriends.
No nothing happened, I'm not that type of girl.
As usual talking doesn't work

I haven 't fallen in love
I realize what I had for goat was dirty and unhealthy
It wasn't love it wasn't even like
it was curiousity with a mixture of swirling dislike
I wanted to kick his ass
still wanna do it too.

Though I realized I made myself look like a fool
Desperate, stalkerish , perssisent and demanding
I can't change that about myself.
When I want something from someone
I want it now, not later
So I continue to press until I get it.

It was weird and all
Even when I didn't want to see him
I did.

In a few I'll call Ricardo :c
I miss him, would like to hang out, but there's no gurantee
We will ever see one another again.
Life goes on
People change
People move

My fear is always change.
I don't want to change too much
Yet I don't want to not change not enough.
Confusing right?

Signing off , Ren Dizzle