Hello All!

I know i know it's been such a long time, i'm a forgetful person. I've been trying to get some things in my life straight. I got a fiance. I quit my job due to my manager being sexist :/ (wack yo). my cousin died. that was big i guess. I'm back in school WOOO! See just as much as I've been away :D good things have happened. I've been so stressed out T___T I MADE KOREAN FRIENDS :D went to more weddings. Bouquets at the tip of my fingers. I felt silly for even standing up there. Yes WEDDINGS. of course after I got the bf ._. I got a lot to update on. I feel more woman now. I think my heart exists. Don't think we won't be hearing from me

Well let me get right to the point. I apologize for such a long absence and it's funny that there has to be a serious storm brewing for me to post xD HURRICANE SANDY :P Today I felt my most motivated after all this bull. I'm finally standing up and on my feet again. I'm working out and watching the weather channel. I have been away since 3:50pm yesterday o_o I am not tired^^

I'm going to study and take better care of myself! Once and for all


OWW CARPAL TUNNEL DX

I hear the winds a brewin >.O
Time for me to finish working out and crud ;n; that's the problem with stuff it's boring or too easy at times. T____T


-Ren Montez <3

I don't wanna :(

I just don't feel like it man, for some reason I just don't want to speak for a bit. I felt so right awhile ago now everything feels different. I feel I should jut rush now, just to escape.


Tell me how everything that felt so right, is now starting to feel so wrong...

Ask and you will Receive

@ like 1.30am Azad htm on twitter. I was all whhuuuut o-O
 >_> still curious how he found that tweet lol
Maybe I should look up me on twitter ;D (that's something hard to find)

I was so excited o:

Sucks that I didn't know about him sooner, I would of so went to his show at Woodstock :(

This 朝

I had a bad rest last night

tossed and turned
so cold, uncomfortable.

Feeling like crap, I worked out and felt good

did the workouts I wanted to do yesterday
my knee is now hurting so I have it elevated
that actually helps too.

my mum is such a downer
has already tried to ruin my day
i also have things to do
i didn't ask anyone to cook food for me

cuz often they don't feed me anyway
since they never bother to ask if i'm hungry
they just assume I don't want jack to eat :/

Life is screwed for me right now
I don't dig this boojé

Approaching me nasty ):<
I know I'm young but that doesn't mean anything.
I have a lot to deal with on my plate.

I need a job
And it's so hard to get one because I never got a job before, I only did volunteer work, I don't know how long I'll be in town and the economy is bad.

If I was younger it would be easy for me, makes me sad and then I wanna cry T_____T
¡Ren necesito dinero también!


I'm stressed out right now and working out and sleeping are the only two things keeping me going, oh my rfs too <3 ilyg
 

-Ren Montez <3

Edit: now she's mad at me u_u (that makes me feel better) lol

Mike Posner - Cheated

It's a good song all in all, yet in away a typical person feels like yeah the next time that happens Imma cheat on that hoe.
Nah nah nauh.

That's something that shouldn't be done, but I can understand where Posner is coming from, knowing that the one you loved wasn't all there for you.

Trust me, most of us want to cheat when we find are skank is nasty. (I included)

Yet that will not solve the problem and will only add on to your bad karma, you always want to have more good karma than bad.

Yep I'm a Roman Catholic and it goes against my religion but I still believe in certain things and it's not as if I twist my religion for something bad.

Do yourself a favor, someone's cheating on you click your heels and end that s, if you see it something worth working on go for it.

If you're thinking about cheating on someone dump them. This saves them from more pain.

If you already did it, fess up, because that s fucks with someone's self esteem no lie (haha, see I censored the word shit but not fuck lol)

How it messes with that person head?
1. They think love doesn't exist anymore
2. They think you're a liar
3. They feel unbeautiful
4. They feel unlovable
5. They feel used
6. They feel disgusted
7. They feel hurt

Out of my experiences I never felt 3 since I already had self esteem issues , I always felt a certain way about my appearance and heck, piece of s dudes I've dealt with they never called me beautiful the whole damn time we dated so SAD FACe lol.


Now back to Mike Posner lol, Gone In September this goes perfect with the tweet I made today.

He's a good dude but after all that bs he turned lol, now I hope he goes back to the good guy.



Fix you ok?


-Ren Montez <3

Friendship

Ugh, no matter what you do, it's like a romantic relationship but sometimes you don't mind going back to it, I'm so tired :/ I shouldn't bother anyone anymore, if I'm hurt, I'll just let our relationship fade away naturally ):

I've been hurt with guys in a romantic way and I've been hurt in a non romantic way by guys and gals, I don't have to deal with this anymore, I have too much going on in my life to try to keep doing this, pain is not good for me, it takes a drain in more ways than one, adieu.

I don't like talking on the internet! \(TOT)/

I was feeling really heated then i went to check my messages from a long time and I felt like he totally overlooked me, even though he might have not meant to do so T_T
It hurt me deeply

HOW COULD YOU MAN AHHHHHH -crying like a little preschooler-


;~; oh well, I should let it be as it is distant  (needs to stop misreading things)
but that's the reason why I prefer talking on the phone or in person D:

T,T -wipes eyes-


Bad enough I read the rest of that crappy good book ;_;

Imma go be immature now Dx