Crap

Some people just have those spirits always trying to bring you down.

Mum, Sibling, Father, Aunt, Cousin, Teacher, Stranger, Enemy or so called friend aka Frienemy.


When those moments occur just try to distance yourself from it.

Today I felt a lot of that bullshit.
I don't like to say bullcrap because it makes me think about crabs, Trey Songs used to have that . (see that's why I don't like to say it)



I did a 20 minute workout and I automatically felt better, someone said something rude to me on my way to do it, I didn't like that and sure I felt a little ugh you know what cuss cuss.

But I didn't go that far, I just ran as fast as I could (you know I don't run, I only skip, hop, jump and speed walk) so I could go workout and make myself feel better.

My knee clicked half way through the workout because I was still angry at the time, yet I pushed through the pain instead of giving up, I'm so glad I did too.

I wouldn't feel as happy as I do now, I'm kinda hungry as well at the moment yet that's only natural after burning off so many calories.

Came up with some new script ideas, I won't release the titles of those works until I'm at least half way done with them (Only God knows and only time shall tell)

In the latest I've been feeling a little more than your average shade a blue.

Another typical thing amongst our youth and females. (yes for once I will admit to being a woman) There's therapy, medication, weapons and death yet I choose to use none of them.

No need to poison myself, how can another crazy person tell me I'm crazy when they started it?

Sometimes in life they over exaggerate things.
Such a shame.

I'm going to do 3 more workouts then call it a day


Hey, nobody said it was a short road to recovery

-Ren Montez <3


Edit: Nevermind I'll have to finish those workouts when I get back, someone wants me to go out with them, so I'll unpin my hair to look some what suitable.

Did You ever feel like ******??

I know everyone has that time in their life where they feel why do I ever bother or try.

Wether it's caused by love, school, money or social it happens to the best of us unfortanately but hey, if we can make it through that tough time, it only makes us stronger beings.

I watched koishite akuma episode two. Some japanese drama I said i didn't care too much for, that episode was surprisingly pretty good.
The message was effed up though. They talked about the difference between a human life >> shiseikan <<< and a vampire's life.

We strive to live our fullest even knowing that in the end we will die.

So true, we attempt to live all the life we can before we are more, and that's exactly how we should live.
Pushing limits, going beyond the boundaries, excelling, spreading our wings, living everyday like it was our last.

In the end what will you believe? What will be your mark on this earth? Make it big make it honorable.
Just live your life and hold your head up, things are crappy now but remember, there's a tomorrow so there for there can be a better day ^_^;

-Ren Montez <3 p="">

Lover I Don't Have to Love - Bright Eyes

This song is crazy, I love the melody. I would listen to this without the lyrics if I could. I normally listen to this song when I'm feeling down and I feel that love is too damn pointless.
(Pardon if you don't like my music reviews but they do relate to my life, since I have some opinion on it :] )

The lyrics are deep and whatever. >>>
Here are a few lyrics from the song that made me say wow:
I want a lover I don't have to love I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk, hey where's the kid with the chemicals....
I got a hundred and I can't seem to get far...

I got the money if you got the time he said it feels good and I'll give it a try ....
and my mind went dark...
I need some meaning I can memorize, The gotta have or seems to slip my mind...
You are such pretty words, but love's no story book, love's an excuse to get hurt and to hurt. Do you like to hurt? I do I do, then hurt me, then hurt me.

Well if I have any readers out there, I would love to hear your opinions every once in awhile ^^; (starting to feel as if I'm sounding desperate for a reply)

-Ren Montez <3

Mike Posner - Cheated

It's a good song all in all, yet in away a typical person feels like yeah the next time that happens Imma cheat on that hoe.
Nah nah nauh.

That's something that shouldn't be done, but I can understand where Posner is coming from, knowing that the one you loved wasn't all there for you.

Trust me, most of us want to cheat when we find are skank is nasty. (I included)

Yet that will not solve the problem and will only add on to your bad karma, you always want to have more good karma than bad.

Yep I'm a Roman Catholic and it goes against my religion but I still believe in certain things and it's not as if I twist my religion for something bad.

Do yourself a favor, someone's cheating on you click your heels and end that s, if you see it something worth working on go for it.

If you're thinking about cheating on someone dump them. This saves them from more pain.

If you already did it, fess up, because that s fucks with someone's self esteem no lie (haha, see I censored the word shit but not fuck lol)

How it messes with that person head?
1. They think love doesn't exist anymore
2. They think you're a liar
3. They feel unbeautiful
4. They feel unlovable
5. They feel used
6. They feel disgusted
7. They feel hurt

Out of my experiences I never felt 3 since I already had self esteem issues , I always felt a certain way about my appearance and heck, piece of s dudes I've dealt with they never called me beautiful the whole damn time we dated so SAD FACe lol.


Now back to Mike Posner lol, Gone In September this goes perfect with the tweet I made today.

He's a good dude but after all that bs he turned lol, now I hope he goes back to the good guy.



Fix you ok?


-Ren Montez <3

Friendship

Ugh, no matter what you do, it's like a romantic relationship but sometimes you don't mind going back to it, I'm so tired :/ I shouldn't bother anyone anymore, if I'm hurt, I'll just let our relationship fade away naturally ):

I've been hurt with guys in a romantic way and I've been hurt in a non romantic way by guys and gals, I don't have to deal with this anymore, I have too much going on in my life to try to keep doing this, pain is not good for me, it takes a drain in more ways than one, adieu.

Ok, so this is what normally happens to me and I like fudge -______- hontou ni? (translation of fudge hontou ni: ¿ffff really?)I say I don't wanna go out  I just want to stay home and chill or studies.
Since I'm feeling as blue as a snow cone, antisocialable like a book, tired like a floor or just lazy as a blanket :P
For me those are some reasons just not to go out that day but somehow someway I am always dragged out of the house =3=
(They harasses me until I come out... FAFOMOS REAVE ME ARONE!)
So I went up to this cool little waterpark in Spartan, New Jersey. Just total water around there lol. I wouldn't want to live there just because I'm thinking about the flooding..

Ex.
Me: AHHH IT S FLOODING D:< Babe do we have flood insurance? o_O I hope we do, cuz I need to replace this crud asap... D:
Ye the houses were really nice lol. Only thing I liked about the place. So if you lived on the hill top you were coolin as long as the water goes down when it floods

The water at the park was dirty, fun but dirty there were showers to wash off ur feets too. Ok ok so I don't like lake water and I knew lakes were never clear blue lol
I don't care for greenie brownie waters.
The water slide was awesome as well as the kid's attraction called Papoose Island which really reminded me of Mario aka Yoshi's Island :]
Where I met a lot of guys who I was very shy to talk to I was like this >____> M_______M
I hurt my knee badly so it still hurts grr knees Dx
Brought a wiffle bat, had a sno-cone and an ice cream cone <3


The Ice cream cone was Vanilla, Wafer with Rainbow sprinkles :P
RAWRS kekeke.

After the park I ended up at a party in Central Jersey. I didn't want to be there ugh.. But In the end It turned out well. Didn't leave the party until midnight so I got home around 1ish

Mi bro was there and he told me what's wrong, you're always sad when I see you, You're a pretty girl, Pretty girls shouldn't be sad they should be happy and shooting boys lol..
Even though I knew what he meant with the shooting I took the literal meaning of an actually gun and told him well I don't have a gun yet so maybe that's why I'm still sad.
He chuckled then went off, to prepare for his show. He had a show to attend today, in Queens
I think the Heavy hitters might be there promoting too.

There were even more guys at the party WHAT THE HELL so happy when they left
talked some real talk artound 10~12
Talked about the white side of our families and how they have affected the children of oreo. Some of the kids can't accept that they are mixed and deny that side of themselves. How sad you only want to claim ur white side but it's clear ur mixed.  While it is sometimes the other way around for some kids, some appear extremly white when they were latino or just kissed by the sun and they would fight a person in a minute who calls them white.
Like a puerto rican with Blond hair and blue eyes or an Caucasian African American with black hair and green eyes. Yet the pigimentation and facial features makes them appear most white.
To me race is confusing , as for me and couple of friends agree that there is only one race , the human race and the sick world that we live in wants us to choose.
To me there is no such thing as a race labeled by color, maybe human should be a color yet it would be a rainbow of different skin tones, what a pretty color that would be. White and Black are the colors in my crayon box. White is the color of purity, as black is the color of Darkness.
In the bible and many other relgious scriptures race has been confused with the words used in the bible, then due to the history of the world, Where Nigger this Cracker that and all this other mess Created because one person was scared of another or that person wanted what that other person had.
Greed, Envy, Lust and a few other sins are what lead the human race to what it is now, You guys all know our dna is 99.9% alike and if you really think of the world. ALL OF YOU ARE NASTY YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER.
In retrospect lol. When it comes to the human race it's just a bunch of genes that aren't so closely knit coming together.
@_@ Yet I think it is very important for everyone to read each religious book, Well start from the core.
Like if you're Christian, Jewish or Muslim. You should read the book meant for your religion first then move on to the others that relate to your religion. Ex. Bible, Torah and Quoran.
Then after you finish that read books from Buddhism, Hindism, Shintoism, Wiccan etc.
But read nothing that is new, because if it is anything from recent times it cannot truly reflect anything from beyond the 1900s
Also we already know what's happening now.
in the 1960s a lot of things changed for women and minorities. Yet there is still a lot of racism and sexism because of the same damn books and just how the world is in general.
If you ever read the bible completly (as I have) you would realize how sad and disgusting it is in the beginning yet in some points of the bible you see good things, you see a light and some sense in it. And that's just from the old testement alone.
You can read the whole bible in 365 or less, that all depends on your speed. Also yes I know it looks like I just said something hyprocritial but I am no fool to what has happened and what is of now. Somethings are just harder to swallow when it comes to living, that's why you can choose.
Choose to knowledge it
Choose to ignore it
Choose to embrace it
Choose to be it
Choose to love it
Choose to have it
Choose to fuck it
Choose to cry about it
Choose to die for it
Choose to burn it
Choose to forget it
Choose to remember it
But what ever you do
The Choice is yours to choose

Ren is out- I think I've said enough, now Imma work on burying this post in nonscene (/>3>)/ -runs away-

Happy NOT!

Ok, so this is what normally happens to me and I like fudge -______- hontou ni? (translation of fudge hontou ni: ¿ffff really?)I say I don't wanna go out  I just want to stay home and chill or studies.
Since I'm feeling as blue as a snow cone, antisocialable like a book, tired like a floor or just lazy as a blanket :P
For me those are some reasons just not to go out that day but somehow someway I am always dragged out of the house =3=
(They harasses me until I come out... FAFOMOS REAVE ME ARONE!)
So I went up to this cool little waterpark in Spartan, New Jersey. Just total water around there lol. I wouldn't want to live there just because I'm thinking about the flooding..

Ex.
Me: AHHH IT S FLOODING D:< Babe do we have flood insurance? o_O I hope we do, cuz I need to replace this crud asap... D:
Ye the houses were really nice lol. Only thing I liked about the place. So if you lived on the hill top you were coolin as long as the water goes down when it floods

The water at the park was dirty, fun but dirty there were showers to wash off ur feets too. Ok ok so I don't like lake water and I knew lakes were never clear blue lol
I don't care for greenie brownie waters.
The water slide was awesome as well as the kid's attraction called Papoose Island which really reminded me of Mario aka Yoshi's Island :]
Where I met a lot of guys who I was very shy to talk to I was like this o--------o M_______M
I hurt my knee badly so it still hurts grr knees Dx
Brought a wiffle bat, had a sno-cone and an ice cream cone <3


The Ice cream cone was Vanilla, Wafer with Rainbow sprinkles :P
RAWRS kekeke.

After the park I ended up at a party in Central Jersey. I didn't want to be there ugh.. But In the end It turned out well. Didn't leave the party until midnight so I got home around 1ish

Mi bro was there and he told me what's wrong, you're always sad when I see you, You're a pretty girl, Pretty girls shouldn't be sad they should be happy and shooting boys lol..
Even though I knew what he meant with the shooting I took the literal meaning of an actually gun and told him well I don't have a gun yet so maybe that's why I'm still sad.
He chuckled then went off, to prepare for his show. He had a show to attend today, in Queens
I think the Heavy hitters might be there promoting too.

There were even more guys at the party WHAT THE HELL so happy when they left
talked some real talk artound 10~12
Talked about the white side of our families and how they have affected the children of oreo. Some of the kids can't accept that they are mixed and deny that side of themselves. How sad you only want to claim ur white side but it's clear ur mixed.  While it is sometimes the other way around for some kids, some appear extremly white when they were latino or just kissed by the sun and they would fight a person in a minute who calls them white.

Like a puerto rican with Blond hair and blue eyes or an Caucasian African American with black hair and green eyes. Yet the pigimentation and facial features makes them appear most white.
To me race is confusing , as for me and couple of friends agree that there is only one race , the human race and the sick world that we live in wants us to choose.

To me there is no such thing as a race labeled by color, maybe human should be a color yet it would be a rainbow of different skin tones, what a pretty color that would be. White and Black are the colors in my crayon box. White is the color of purity, as black is the color of Darkness.

In the bible and many other relgious scriptures race has been confused with the words used in the bible, then due to the history of the world, Where Nigger this Cracker that and all this other mess Created because one person was scared of another or that person wanted what that other person had.
Greed, Envy, Lust and a few other sins are what lead the human race to what it is now, You guys all know our dna is 99.9% alike and if you really think of the world. ALL OF YOU ARE NASTY YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER.
In retrospect lol. When it comes to the human race it's just a bunch of genes that aren't so closely knit coming together.

@_@ Yet I think it is very important for everyone to read each religious book, Well start from the core.

Like if you're Christian, Jewish or Muslim. You should read the book meant for your religion first then move on to the others that relate to your religion. Ex. Bible, Torah and Quoran.
Then after you finish that read books from Buddhism, Hindism, Shintoism, Wiccan etc.
But read nothing that is new, because if it is anything from recent times it cannot truly reflect anything from beyond the 1900s

Also we already know what's happening now.
in the 1960s a lot of things changed for women and minorities. Yet there is still a lot of racism and sexism because of the same damn books and just how the world is in general.
If you ever read the bible completly (as I have) you would realize how sad and disgusting it is in the beginning yet in some points of the bible you see good things, you see a light and some sense in it. And that's just from the old testement alone.

You can read the whole bible in 365 or less, that all depends on your speed. Also yes I know it looks like I just said something hyprocritial but I am no fool to what has happened and what is of now. Somethings are just harder to swallow when it comes to living, that's why you can choose.


Choose to knowledge it
Choose to ignore it
Choose to embrace it
Choose to be it
Choose to love it
Choose to have it
Choose to fuck it
Choose to cry about it
Choose to die for it
Choose to burn it
Choose to forget it
Choose to remember it
But what ever you do
The Choice is yours to choose

Ren is out- I think I've said enough, now Imma work on burying this post in nonscene -runs away-